FAQ. Why do we do this for free.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS FOR FREE?

We do it because there was nobody there when we were going through this and most of us felt abandoned and isolated by the situations that we were in. We understand that you are in a difficult situation, and we understand the pain, but having gone through all of this and some of us, having come out on the other side, we can also see where we went wrong and what we did to resolve that. We work hard to help parents so please be respectful. We do this for nothing to help you through this and are not here to get in between arguments between men versus women or mums versus dads, or Dads versus mums. We are here to help each person that is caught up in this, as an individual. So please understand when you don't agree with the help we are offering to a parent, this is their case, projecting your own onto a complete stranger because they are the opposite sex, or their case appears to sound something like your own is not helpful. please add your own questions and they will be answered in a way that will help you too.

We can see things on both sides that you may not be able to.

1, Having been where you are now, and having experienced how the court works we know how daunting this can be for someone who has never experienced the family court.

2. Remember that these cases are not about you and your ex. This is about what the child has witnessed. Where a child has witnessed arguments with BOTH of their parents, in the eyes of the court and services the child is being emotionally abused and it doesn’t matter to the court who the bad guy is and who the good guy is, in the eyes of the court, the fact remains the child/tren have been exposed and are the abused party. They are minors and cannot manage the situations they are living in and so need the help of the court to no longer be exposed to this.

. 3. In cases where the child has been protected and never been abused by the parent and the child has not witnessed the abuse of one parent or the other, and where the victim has not told the child of the abuse and has shielded the child this is deemed to be good parenting. You as a parent are the adult. You as the adult must be the protective factor in the child's life if you want to keep the child. Many children are removed from homes where there is domestic violence and even though there may be a clear victim the family court still has far to go when it comes to dealing with such cases. The number one priority is the children.

4. The court will appoint a CAFCASS officer to speak for the child. I say FOR the child because they will only rarely accept what the child wants believing them to be too young to make such decisions for themselves. CAFCASS believes that despite abuse and despite any wrongdoing of a parent that the child will still love the “abusive parent” and the chances are the child will want to have a relationship with them. This may be hard for the victim but it is the path that the family court sees as being best for the child. This scenario is seen as the adults being responsible for protecting the child against witnessing abuse and regardless of their own differences, the parents have acted in ways that support the child.

5. The family court believes that the parent who abuses the other parent is doing so because they are being stopped from seeing the child and so if the child is in the abuser's care then the abuse against the other parent will then end.

6. The victim of the other parent’s abuse naturally becomes so afraid to contact the abuser and prefer’s that the child should have their contact in a centre. Unless there is evidence of the abuse and the parent with care has applied for a non-molestation order and has followed social services recommendations, and the parent with care has stopped all contact with the other parent, the court (cafcass) will deal with the victim as the abusive party. You must follow social services recommendations, and once in court be open to the other parent having supervised contact with another person, friend, or family member doing the handover of the child. This supervised contact is likely to progress to supervised contact in the community, and then unsupervised contact, The family court and CAFCASS generally want to get contact with the child to a point where there is 50/50 shared care. There are circumstances where the court will agree to no contact or indirect contact, but this is where there is clear evidence of abuse of the child.

7. Where a parent refuses to work with the court process and where there is no evidence of any abuse of either the child, or where the abuse is seen as both parents warring with each other, the court will at first try the above method, but after trying this still cannot be resolved there is a big chance that the court will look at changing the residency of the child to the other parent, whilst the parent losing residency will very likely end up having their contact supervised. If the parent with care is described as being in an “enmeshed relationship” with the child and the child is afraid to see the other parent some may call this parental alienation. This is where the child has heard and seen too much and taken on the child’s belief that the other parent is evil and will harm them. Under these circumstances, the parent with care will almost certainly lose residency. If the non-resident parent is deemed to be a risk the child will be placed into foster care with both parents only seeing their children under supervision.

This scenario will cause family breakdowns, the court does not always get it right and this can cause a victim of abuse to be victimised still further.

“How I was then."

8. There is plenty of case law where somewhere down the line, you can get orders changed and care orders discharged. The way to do this is by showing significant change.

Some of us in this group have done this, and many of us are now qualified to not only parent our child/ren but also counsel them and with child psychology diplomas in hand even offer them therapy. If you can do the work you can then show the court that you want to be given the chance to do so. This would also stop them from taking any further children you may have in the future. We have parents that have had children removed from their care but have been able to keep further children because of the work they have put in. This is the only way forward and we are speaking from a place of having tried all routes to win our own cases, even I appealing at the high courts and back to the lower courts. but the only way is to prove that what they said no longer applies. Accepting the judge’s decision and being able to move forward from that is showing the court that you are able to take responsibility. No court or services will agree to a discharge of care order if you have not accepted that you did wrong and have now changed. They will not accept a discharge of care order if you continue to point at social services and the Judge as being to blame. They will not accept they got it wrong, as this will open them up to being sued.

I AM THE APPLICANT SO WHY ARE THEY BLAMING ME FOR THE OTHER PARENT’S BEHAVIOR?

If the family court is the way that you want to go with this, as hard as all this is, you are better off describing what's happening in a way that protects you and your parenting skills. Unfortunately, these courts tend to try to create a level playing field between parents by putting the blame for some things onto the parent with care, no matter how blameless they are. if you are the parent with care, do not talk about how everything is affecting the children badly, instead talk about this as you having to be a sponge to his actions towards them and that you are doing all that you can protect them from what is happening here. If the children are seen to be being harmed by the other parent they can say you are failing to safeguard them.. What parents, all of us really needs is to learn and understand how our own parenting will have a long-term effect on our children. Please never go into court speaking about this in a way that places all blame onto the other parent whilst you label them a narcissist, liar, abuser etc. . Use careful wording, especially to CAFCASS. These cases are managed right up to the point they accept nothing else can be done, and then it moves to fact-finding where you can use evidence. Up until then, they will do everything to make both parents equally terrible and try to make both parents take courses and go to parenting classes. They will blame you for speaking badly of the other parent and how this also has a long-term effect on the children. Especially if you go to court saying the other parent should have little or no contact, which is what many parents do. You need to speak from the children's viewpoints about how this affects them as individuals but also how you manage this so that it has as little effect on them as possible, this shows that your own parenting skills are more than adequate. Make suggestions of the other parent possibly needing to learn how to better understand your children's needs. A court cannot make a bad parent into a good parent and when a parent is facing accusations and criticism from you of their parenting they will retaliate with criticisms of you, and that will have to be taken seriously by the court too. The family court is not for the faint-hearted. Being able to manage this is no mean feat. Try to word everything in a way which doesn't label or name-call, but recognises the way the children are feeling because they need to both feel wanted and loved by both parents and they both need to see the other being wanted and loved too, They also need to hear both parents speaking well of each other. Sometimes parents do not recognise their own faults in their parenting and the family court will magnify all of this whether it is true or not. Often parents are mimicking their own experiences without seeing that in themselves and getting through to a parent about this often needs to be carefully worded so it doesn't include blame.

MY EX IS THE ABUSER WHO CAUSED MY MENTAL HEALTH SO WHY AM I THE ONE LOSING MY CHILDREN?

The difficulty is that when you report your ex for being abusive it is almost always the case that he/she will respond by saying that it is you who is mentally ill. If your case ends up in court then at some point it is likely that the court will ask for your GP’s reports. If you have suffered from mental health at the hands of your child’s other parent then there will be evidence of that. In this case, you need to step back and look at the dynamics of your relationship with the other parent and how you play a role in the way that you are both failing to work things out for the child's sake. When we, as parents get into relationships the history of our own upbringing, tends to play a role in what type of partner we choose. Women and men who as a child have experienced abuse from their own families will subconsciously tend to go for a partner who has issues with the subconscious wish to heal the figure parental figure in the partners they meet as they were helpless to do so as a child. In cases like this, you need to examine your part in choosing a partner who will become a parent with you, like this so that you can recognise the reasons why you struggle in relationships especially once the child is born. I too have chosen partners who needed my help throughout my life. The reality is we cannot help those who do not recognise the fact their behaviour is abusive. Also when the relationship is in the early stages and the love is there, we will make all kinds of excuses for any negative abusive behaviour. It's why they say love is blind. When you were with the other parent of your child you would have slowly become aware of this abusive behaviour, trying to be the perfect partner and appeasing them, When we have children, the dynamics in our relationships change and we put the child's needs as a priority over the partner and parent, so at this point, you would have stopped making excuses for them. At that point, you would even have started to hate them for not being a healed person and the perfect parent you and your child needed. So at this point, the relationship breaks down your expectations and anger and bitterness rise up in the other parent as they begin to feel rejection which could also trigger negative emotions and memories of their own upbringing. he might start responding in anger, using angry words whilst rejecting you as a partner. In many cases, a woman often speaks about that rejection as the other parent rejecting the child which comes from the same feelings of being rejected themselves as a child. The reality is all of this is your relationship with the other parent, it has nothing to do with the past or the child you have together. Reporting the other parent for all of their transgressions as a failure of a parent will make them even worse towards you, Things can never get better when you do this and the child then ends up in the middle of all of this and CAFCASS will write about this in their report for the court. Once all communication breaks down in our relationships talking to each other about the things the other parent is doing wrong causes the ego to rise and those too become a sticking point in the both of you working this out for the child. The family court will want the child's right to know and have a relationship with the father met. The only way this can work for your child is for you and the other parent to get help to communicate better and to be able to accept criticism from both sides. You really sound like you need counselling and support around your history. In my own case being a single parent was a choice after I became aware of the patterns that I created due to my relationship with my own parents. You really need to work out what you are doing and why because all the while you keep reporting rather than communicating this will continue and the child will remain trapped in this battle where as you say you needed to get away from the child's other parent. It's possible that they may need counselling and parenting classes, but the way that you are dealing with this will only fall back onto you where there is evidence of your mental health and no real evidence of their bad parenting.

SHOULD I DO WHAT SOCIAL SERVICES SAY?

We do suggest that you try to work with what social services say. The difficulty is social services do not work in the same way the courts do and people get confused about how quickly social services can change. Whilst court is not involved they will tell you to stay away from abusive exes and safeguard the children but if the other parent takes you to court and CAFCASS recommends that the parent that social services have told you to stay away from has contact. They will agree and follow the court’s directions, which leaves the parent high and dry, still doing what social services told them initially and fighting against CAFCASS and court recommendations. This will not go down well with the court and you can find yourself on a slippery slope that can lead to the worst things imaginable happening to you and your children. Follow social services recommendations by all means but if it goes to court you must be prepared to change direction and work with what the court recommends. Parents are not told this and they continue to argue thinking they are safeguarding the children from dangerous situations. If you fail to do as the court directs then you will find that your children will be placed in even worse situations than say supervised contact with the other parent.

WHEN THEY TAKE MY CHILDREN DO SOCIAL SERVICES HAVE OVERRIDING PR?

SS cannot make unilateral decisions nor go over the heads of the parents in decision making even when cloaked with a care order. S 34(4) "shares PR... that means equally with parents in law there is no "over-riding PR" as the SS may state. This is a myth.

Re G (Care: Challenge to Local Authority’s Decision) [2003] 2 FLR In Re G (Care: Challenge to Local Authority’s Decision) [2003] 2 FLR 42, Munby J held:

‘The fact that a local authority has parental responsibility for children pursuant to s 33(3)(a) of the Children Act 1989 does not entitle it to take decisions about children without reference to, or over the heads of the children’s parents.

A local authority, even if clothed with the authority of a care order, is not entitled to make significant changes in the care plan, or to change the arrangements under which the children are living, let alone to remove the children from home if they are living with their parents, without properly involving the parents in the decision-making process and without giving the parents a proper opportunity to make their case before a decision is made. After all, the fact that the local authority also has parental responsibility does not deprive the parents of their parental responsibility.’

DO YOU HELP MOTHERS OR FATHERS OR BOTH?

Its time not just for fathers for justice or mothers for justice, but parents for justice uniting as one. There is far too much division in our world and in society. It seems to be set up to create tension between those with differences. This division has caused us to forget that we are a part of each other and our children are a part of two people and not one against the other. We all have the same goals ultimately and that is for our children to be able to thrive and grow in a world where adults can put their differences aside for them. Let's join together and fight the system that divides families and bring unity back to the family even if we can't live together.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF A FINDING OF FACT HEARING IF DOMESTIC ABUSE AGAINST THE OTHER PARENT IS NOT A FACTOR WHEN IT COMES TO CONTACT?

our Answer ..

Because even though they may acknowledge the parents hate one another to the point abuse has gone on between them, they see that the child that is in the middle of that abuse has been abused more. They put child abuse before adult abuse because adults can get out of situations but a child cant. Where the child is in the victims care the victim will generally try to stop contact with THEIR abuser. The child soesn’t see their parents as abusers but when they are in the middle of a battle this is deemed to be child abuse.

The victim with care will try hard to tell everyone at the court and professionals that this other parent is abusive. In these circumstances where the child has witnessed the abuse, the family court says that the parent with care didn't protect the child from the abuse and have allowed the child to be abused... Abuse, especially emotional abuse and coercive control are hard to prove and unless there are criminal charges against the abusive parent towards the child they will ignore it. The more the victim cries rages write and shout that this other person is abusive warning others that he/she will harm the child they see THIS behaviour as what the child is witnessing even more and call this parental alienation especially where the victim parent is stopping the child/ren having contact with the other parent.

A person who has healed and had intense therapy after being in an abusive relationship speaks of the abuse they suffered as being in the past and dealt with. They accept they are no longer with this person and no longer being abused. The unhealed victim will keep talking and talking to everyone about this abuser, the child's parent is abusive to them and therefore also abusive to the child. They cannot separate their abuse with the child’s experiences and they call this an enmeshed relationship and deem the parent that the child has become enmeshed with as being the abuser. They remove children from the parent that they have this “enmeshed relationship” with and tend to want to work upon the relationship between the other parent and the child whilst causing the parent who has the enmeshed relationship to only have limited contact with the child under supervised conditions.

Each of us who has won our cases have done so by changing our attitude towards the professionals who are against us. We have taken courses including courses on child psychology which opens you up to another realm of seeing how the professionals see things. They see this from the child's point of view and that means looking at you as equally to blame for your position in the story that you have created that is your life right now. To begin to win this case, you must first accept these people really think what they write is correct. It is taken from the psychological viewpoint of a child and to fight them shows them (who you must understand don't know you as equally as they don't know your ex) They are witnessing you as a very angry person who shows aggressive feelings towards them the professionals when they share a view-point about you, your ex, your child and your case. So Imagine when you first got into that relationship that your parents and your friends told you this person that you have brought to meet them is evil and you must not go near them, we as adults especially when younger rebel at this, and that drives us further into the arms of the people that are abusive. It isn't until later on that we start seeing negative things about them, but we deny them because it means our parents and friends were right and you wrong and that doesn't sit well. This is how professionals feel and behave when faced with a parent who is attacking them telling them this person who is the child's parent and is half of this child is an evil narcissist, have parents that have had children removed from their care but have been able to keep further children because of the work they have put in. This is the only way forward and we are speaking from a place of having tried all routes to win our own cases, even I appealing at the high courts and back to the lower courts but the only way is to prove that what they said no longer applies even if the judge believed that it did at the time..e this “enmeshed relationship” with and tend to want to work upon the relationship between the other parent and the child whilst causing the parent who has the enmeshed relationship to only have limited contact with the child under supervised conditions.

MY CHILD WAS WRONGFULLY TAKEN AND I CAN PROVE IT. WHAT CAN I DO?

Our answer.

The family court sees it that as a parent, you have got into a situation where you made a child with this person and must have liked them too at some point to have created this little person together.

1. So when the victim says “I don’t want this child to see this person who has abused me, they see that as parental alienation that is happening now and not in the past which is even more abuse of the child that they are experiencing now.

2. The family courts see the adults as being responsible for protecting the child against witnessing abuse.

3. The family court believes that the parent who abuses the other parent is doing so because they are being stopped from seeing the child and so if the child is in the abuser's care then the abuse against the other parent will then end. Of course, this is not always the case and there should be no one size fits all decision, but it is so that in many cases they do get it wrong.

4. The victim becomes so afraid to contact the abuser and prefer to have their contact in a centre where they end up appearing the abusive party having to have their contact supervised. Whilst the abuser has the care it causes family and friends to turn against the victim victimizing them still further. how I was then." By law, you can get orders changed by showing significant change. Some of us in this group have done this, and many of us are now qualified to not only parent our child/ren but also council them and with psychology diplomas in hand even offer them a therapy. If you can do the work you can then show the court that you want to be given the chance to do so. This would also stop them from taking any further children you may have in the future. We have parents that have had children removed from their care but have been able to keep further children because of the work they have put in. This is the only way forward and we are speaking from a place of having tried all routes to win our own cases, even I appealing at the high courts and back to the lower courts but the only way is to prove that what they said no longer applies even if the judge believed that it did at the time.

NARCCISTIC ABUSE

As a team, we are here not to back up claims but to help you win your cases and keep your children out of the care system. Many times we are told of cases where the other parent is an abuser. The labels that are used are “narcissists” and “abusers.” We are aware that narcissistic abuse is traumatic and can lead to all kinds of difficulties for victims. When we discuss your cases It is not that we are unaware of the trauma and wickedness of narcissistic abuse and emotional, psychological and physical abuse can cause. We do not deny that it happens. Many of us have experienced this ourselves. We are here to help you to not lose your children, and often that means having to accept professionals recommendations even when it is extremely unfair. The result of fighting professionals views can be more devastating than you could ever imagine.

What the professionals write, this is what the professionals think and rather than getting angry that they think these things about you, think about how you were once led into the belief that this person was a good person that you had feelings for so much that you made a child with them. This is how the professionals see this person who is new to them as he/she was to you when you met him/her. To prove that the person isn't what he/she says he/she is without causing harm to a child who is now half of this other person, she/he carries his DNA in his/her blood is a fine line to tread.

Once you have a child with someone you are tied to them through the child for life.

These professionals see this other parent whether that be the mother or the father a man or a woman as the child's father/mother first and foremost. They want the child to feel the person who made them and is half of them can look at this person and think about the good things that first attracted you to this person and see there are good things about him/her in him/her rather than this evil narcissist’s DNA and half of what created him/her is in him/her, too.

HOW DO I GET THE PROFESSIONALS TO BELIEVE MY EX IS A NARCISSIST?

What we do to our children when we share too much is we damage their view of themselves. To stand back a little and instead of seeing yourself as in the story unable to see the wood for the trees, look at it from an objective viewpoint and write to those who have written these reports from a new view of this, where you are not trapped in the drama and anger of people not seeing what you see, and respond rather than react. You will find they will respond back and listen more. We are all guilty of this in some way. I have been and I know some of our team here have been too.

We cannot agree with nor condone the labelling of parents whether that be mum or dad unless there is a defined diagnosis by a qualified Dr We know from experience that possible diagnosis may be made in the courts by "experts" and that removal of children can be recommended by these court experts based upon on this possible diagnosis. Only a qualified psychiatrist can diagnose. Psychologists are only experts where they are read and understand depression and offer solutions such as therapy or they can refer to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Autism and similar can only be diagnosed by a trained expert in autism. This is why so many children are removed from a possible diagnosis of personality disorders. These should be argued and they can be by asking for a better qualified Drs opinion.

More on psychology reports here.

Any more questions that you want answering and to put here please let us know.

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Link: Advice for families dealing with social services, CAFCASS and the family courts.

F.A.Q.S

Below is a list of frequently asked questions (F.A.Q.s) and short answers, with links to further resources.

WILL I HAVE TO PAY A COURT FEE?

You have to pay a fee to start most court cases but if you are on a low income you may qualify for “fee remission”. You can apply for help with court and tribunal fees online on the .gov.uk website here. If you are applying for a domestic violence injunction (non-molestation order or occupation order) there is no fee payable. For more information on fees see leaflet EX160A.

DO I HAVE TO GO TO MEDIATION?

No. Mediation is voluntary. You can find out what mediation is on our Alternative Dispute Resolution page. However, before making an application to court parties are expected to consider whether mediation is suitable. In most cases, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (a MIAM) before you will be allowed to start a court case, although there are exceptions (for example because it is too urgent to wait or because a mediator has said that the case is not suitable, perhaps because there has been serious violence or the other person is not willing to attend). See Leaflet CB2 for details of what the court classes as “urgent”.

A MIAM is NOT mediation. It is just a meeting where you can find out more about mediation, and where a mediator can give some thought to whether it might be useful or appropriate for your family. You usually don’t attend a MIAM with the other person, so there really is nothing to worry about. If after going to the MIAM either of you or the mediator decide you do not want to mediate that is the end of it, although the court may still encourage you to give it some more thought.

MY CASE IS URGENT – HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?

Applications in the Family Court follow a standard procedure, although it can be adapted to suit the needs of the case you should not expect your case to be resolved immediately or even at the first hearing. In urgent cases, the court may be able to skip certain parts of the procedure or make short term holding orders to protect your position even without the other person being at court. But you should read leaflet CB2 to see what the court considers as an urgent matter.

There is typically a gap of about four weeks between starting a court case about children and the first hearing, and court reports typically take about 12 weeks to prepare. From this you can see that a case about children is likely to take months to resolve, depending on whether or not you are able to resolve it by agreement with the help of the court or CAFCASS. We have prepared a flow chart of the process in cases about arrangements for children here.

There is typically a gap of about 12-16 weeks between starting a financial case and the first hearing (to allow you both to prepare your disclosure (see F.A.Q. about disclosure) and again if a case can’t be resolved by agreement it is likely to take months not weeks. We have prepared a flow chart of the process in cases about finances on divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership here. The court can sometimes make temporary maintenance orders whilst a case is ongoing if there is a pressing need that can’t wait. This is called Maintenance Pending Suit.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOLICITOR AND A BARRISTER?

Barristers, solicitors and legal executives are all lawyers but they have different training.

Solicitors and legal executives are usually employed by, or are partners in a firm, whereas barristers are self-employed and usually work alongside a number of other barristers in offices known as ‘chambers’. Because barristers are self-employed and independent of one another they can act against each other on the same case, but two lawyers from the same firm cannot.

Solicitors and legal executives can handle your case from start to finish, including sorting out legal aid and dealing with paperwork, and some may carry out the advocacy (speaking for you in court) themselves.

Barristers are primarily advocates. They are usually instructed by a solicitor on behalf of someone involved in a court case to deal with the hearings, and sometimes to advise on how strong your case is or what steps should be taken. Barristers can sometimes be instructed directly without you paying for a solicitor too, and this is called public access (see I need a lawyer for more information on public access).

Solicitors, legal executives and barristers are increasingly willing to represent or advise you for ‘one-off’ occasions or for just part of proceedings and will agree to work at fixed or capped fees – so you can control how much you spend.

Barristers have greater ‘rights of audience’ than most solicitors, which means they are able to address Judges in any court right up to the Supreme Court. Therefore, as a general rule, barristers do more of the advocacy, which includes speaking directly to the Judge or cross-examining (questioning) witnesses. Solicitors and legal executives tend to work more with the clients; for example, speaking with you on the telephone, writing letters to the court or other person in the case (or their lawyer) or preparing documents on your behalf.

Particular barristers may have developed a specialism in a certain area, so it makes sense for a solicitor to refer those types of cases to a specialist barrister who can provide advice in writing.

More solicitors and legal executives also act as advocates but if they are busy with another case or if it requires a particular expertise they may have to instruct a barrister to deal with a particular hearing.

For further information see this post on the Pink Tape blog.

WHAT IS A CHILD ARRANGEMENTS ORDER?

This is an order which is usually made in court disputes between parents (called private law disputes – see F.A.Q. What are private law proceedings?).

If parents split up and can’t agree on how to sort out contact or living arrangements for their children, they may need to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. This order will set out how a child spends his time with each of his parents. These orders used to be called ‘contact’ and ‘residence’ orders but were changed by the Children and Families Act 2014.

For further information see the CAFCASS website.

WHAT IS A SECTION 20 AGREEMENT?

Section 20 of the Children Act 1989 is usually relevant where a Local Authority (social services) are involved with a child and his family, including when social services are thinking of starting a court case about the child or have started one (this sort of case is called public law or care proceedings – see F.A.Q. What are public law proceedings?). Section 20 is about a Local Authority (LA) providing somewhere for a child to live if he needs it. Parents have to agree to their child living somewhere else under section 20; if they don’t agree, the only way a LA can take their child away is by starting care proceedings and getting a court order or asking the police to exercise their powers to remove a child for a maximum of 72 hours. The only way that a LA can remove a child against the wishes of his parents apart from this 72 hours is by asking the court to make an order, usually a “care order” which gives the LA Parental Responsibility (see F.A.Q. What is Parental Responsibility?) and the right to remove the child (if the risk of harm to the child is considered particularly serious). The LA does not share Parental Responsibility with the parents if a child is accommodated under section 20.

It is really important that parents understand what section 20 accommodation means and that cases using section 20 are not just left to ‘drift’ or as a way of getting a care order ‘by the back door’. If you are a parent who is being asked to consider section 20 accommodation for your child, make sure you understand what this means and what the plan is for your child’s future.

For further information see this post from the Child Protection Resource and this post on the Suspicious Minds blog or this guide to section 20 prepared by The Transparency Project.

WHAT ARE PRIVATE LAW PROCEEDINGS?

Proceedings means a court case. Private law means a court case that is just between family members, such as parents or other relatives – and which doesn’t involve a Local Authority or other State agency. Therefore, applications for Child Arrangements Orders, Specific Issue Orders or Prohibited Steps Orders under section 8 of the Children Act are all orders in private law proceedings.

The court can make a private law order in public law/care proceedings if this is considered to be in the child’s best interests. However, Local Authorities cannot apply for Child Arrangements Orders. Sometimes the court may ask social workers to provide the court with information about a child’s welfare or wishes and feelings in private law proceedings if the LA already has some knowledge of or dealings with the family. Otherwise, that information is provided to the court by CAFCASS.

WHAT ARE PUBLIC LAW PROCEEDINGS?

Public law proceedings are those court proceedings which involve the State – such as care proceedings or applications for judicial review of the decision of a public body. Only a Local Authority (Social Services) (or the NSPCC) can make an application to the court for a care order or supervision order (See F.A.Q. What is a care Order?).

WHAT IS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?

If someone has ‘Parental Responsibility’ (PR) this means they are recognised in law as someone who has rights and responsibilities in relation to a child. Mothers automatically have PR. Fathers have PR if they were married to the child’s mother when the child was born, if they are registered on the child’s birth certificate after December 2003 or if there is a registered PR agreement or court order. Step and same-sex parents may also hold PR for a child.

PR is defined at section 3 of the Children Act 1989 as ‘all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property’.

People who have PR for a child are expected to discuss with each other important issues relating to the child, such as education and medical treatment, and should not take decisions unilaterally. If the people with PR cannot agree on what is the best thing for a child they should try to reach agreement via mediation or apply to court.

If you are a father who does not have PR for a child and you think you should, you can either try to reach an agreement with the child’s mother or apply to the court for an order.

Sometimes when someone other than a parent holds PR they can override the parent’s wishes, for example, a care order gives a LA PR and this means that they may be able to place a child in foster care, and a Special Guardianship Order gives the person named in it an overriding PR, and limits the rights of the parents of the child (see also F.A.Q. What is a care order?).

For further information, see the gov.uk website here.

WHAT IS A CARE ORDER?

A care order is made under section 31 of the Children Act 1989. If a court agrees there is evidence that it is more likely than not that a child is at risk of suffering significant harm, or has suffered significant harm, it may make a care order.

The consequences of a care order is that the LA now shares Parental Responsibility (See F.A.Q. What is Parental Responsibility?) with the parents and may impose limitations on how the parents chose to exercise their PR, for example by removing a child to live in foster care. The LA must still consult with parents and keep them informed of decisions that they want to make. The LA is also under a duty to make sure that parents and children have ‘reasonable’ contact with one another while the care order is in force.

An ‘interim care order’ is an order the court may make before the final hearing of any application by the LA for a final care order. Care proceedings are now supposed to conclude as quickly as possible or in any event within 26 weeks. While the court is gathering information to enable a decision which protects a child’s best interests, the Judge may need to make an interim order to keep the child safe before considering all the evidence at final hearing.

For more information, see this post from the Child Protection Resource here.

WHAT IS A SUPERVISION ORDER?

If the court agrees that there is evidence that it is more likely than not that a child has suffered or is at risk of suffering significant harm, it may make a Supervision Order as opposed to a Care Order. Supervision Orders generally last between 6 months to a year and they mean that a family will have a named social worker who will continue to visit and monitor the family while the Supervision Order is in force.

A local authority does not share Parental Responsibility with parents under a Supervision Order.

WHAT IS AN EMERGENCY PROTECTION ORDER?

If a Local Authority have serious concerns that a child is at risk of immediate harm, they can apply to the court for an emergency protection order under section 44 of the Children Act 1989. These orders must only be used in situations of real urgency and can only last for a short period of time (8 days with a limited ability to extend).

For further information see this post from the Child Protection Resource here.

WHAT IS A DIRECTIONS/INTERIM HEARING?

If an application to a court involves a serious matter with a high degree of disagreement between people about what is the right outcome, it is likely that to make a fair decision the Judge will need to consider both written and oral (spoken) evidence from all those involved.

Therefore, ‘directions’ or ‘interim hearings’ will be held before the main or ‘final hearing’ so the Judge can be clear what the issues are and what evidence is needed to enable him or her to make the right decision. You are very unlikely to be asked to give evidence at such interim hearings as they are usually about deciding what evidence is needed and in what form.

However, some interim hearings may involve issues of substance, such as hearing oral evidence about what kind of contact a parent should be having with a child before the final hearing. The court should make it clear what is expected to happen at any interim hearing.

The court may give different names to such interim hearings, depending on what kind of proceedings you are involved with. For e.g., if you are in care proceedings, the hearings before the Final Hearing are known as ‘case management hearings’ or the ‘issues resolution hearing’.

For more information about what to expect at a ‘directions hearing’, see this post by Suspicious Minds

WHAT IS A MCKENZIE FRIEND?

A ‘McKenzie friend’ is someone who can come to court with you if you don’t have a lawyer. You will need to get permission from the Judge to allow your McKenzie friend into family proceedings. The main role of the McKenzie friend is to provide you with moral support, take notes, help you with case papers or quietly give you advice on points of law or procedures, issues that you may want to raise in court or questions that you may want to ask witnesses.

McKenzie friends do not have to have any qualifications or training, but some do. Some may volunteer their services, others may request payment. If you are going to pay your McKenzie friend to come to court with you, it is worth remembering that McKenzie Friends are currently not subject to any formal regulation and, unlike professional lawyers, are unlikely to have any insurance to safeguard you against negligent advice and/or representation.

For more information about McKenzie friends, read the McKenzie Friend guidance here.

WHAT IS A LITIGANT IN PERSON?

A Litigant in Person (LiP) is someone who is conducting their own legal proceedings, either because they cannot afford to pay for lawyer or they do not want to instruct a lawyer. The numbers of LiPs has increased as various Governments have limited the type of legal proceedings that will qualify for public funding to pay for lawyers.

For further information about help that is available to you as a LiP see the justice.gov.uk site, or if you are in family proceedings you may find helpful Lucy Reed’s book ‘The Family Court Without a Lawyer – A Handbook for Litigants in Person’, or DIY Divorce & Separation.

WHAT DO I CALL THE JUDGE?

Magistrates and District Judges are called ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’. Some people call Magistrates ‘your worships’.

Circuit Judges and Recorders are called ‘Your Honour’

High Court Judges are called ‘My Lord’ or ‘My Lady’.

If you are a Litigant in Person, don’t worry if you forget or get it wrong. As long as you are polite to a Judge he or she should not worry about what title you use.

See the Judiciary.gov.uk website for more information about the different types of judges.

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR TO COURT?

Within reason, whatever you like. If it would make you feel more confident to dress formally, in a suit for example, then wear that. If however you would feel uncomfortable in formal clothes, just wear something clean and neutral that covers most of you up. You do not want to distract the Judge from listening to what you want to say if you are wearing something very colourful or revealing.

WHO IS A ‘PARTY’ TO PROCEEDINGS?

A ‘party’ to court proceedings is a single person or legal entity which either makes an application to the court or is responding to an application. Parties to court proceedings may be called different names, depending on what kind of proceedings they are involved with. For example, in care proceedings, the LA will be the ‘applicant’ and the parents and any other parties will be known as ‘respondents’.

In family cases, only ‘parties’ to the proceedings have a right to go into court and hear the evidence.

If you are coming to court just to give evidence this makes you a ‘witness’ not a party and you will not be allowed into court unless you are giving your evidence or the judge agrees you can come in at any other time.

WHAT IS AN ‘INTERVENOR’ IN COURT PROCEEDINGS?

If you are an ‘intervenor’ in proceedings you are not a ‘party’ but you are given the right by the court to join ongoing proceedings even if the parties don’t agree that you should be involved. This allows people to have a say who are not parties but who might be affected by the outcome of the proceedings – for example, grandparents in care proceedings who wish to be considered as carers for the child.

For further information about the role of intervenors, see this article from Jordans Family Law.

WHAT IS CAFCASS?

‘CAFCASS’ is the Childrens And Families Court Advisory and Support Service. It was set up by the Criminal Justice and Court Services Act in 2000. The principal functions of the Service are set out in section 12(1) of the CJCSA 2000.

(1) In respect of family proceedings in which the welfare of children is or may be in question, it is a function of the Service to—

(a) safeguard and promote the welfare of the children,

(b) give advice to any court about any application made to it in such proceedings,

(d) provide information, advice and other support for the children and their families.

The court may ask an officer of CAFCASS to write a report to help make decisions about where a child should live. CAFCASS also provide guardians to represent children in care proceedings or complicated private law proceedings.

For more information, visit the official CAFCASS website.

WHAT IS “DISCLOSURE”?

When married couples divorce and the court is asked to deal with their finances they are required to give “full and frank disclosure” regarding their financial situation – to the court and to their ex. This is mainly done through completing Form E and attaching various documents to the form. Form E is also used where a parent is applying for a financial order for a child. It can seem intrusive but this is standard in every financial case and if one party doesn’t disclose their documents when required it can hold up matters and may lead the other party – and even the court – to be suspicious about what might be being hidden. The paperwork and information disclosed under the duty of full and frank disclosure can generally only be used for the purposes of the court case and should not be used by the other person for other purposes.

The duty of full and frank disclosure also means that if your financial circumstances significantly change after you complete your disclosure you should tell the court and the other party about the changes.