A place for Dads

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Equal rights for seperated Dad’s

Being separated from your children is tough if you're a dad. We're here to help with all aspects from emotional to financial to legal.

Help, Advice & Support for Separated Fathers...

There is a brilliant link here to a great site for dads but we also support dads on our facebook site that you will find here https://www.facebook.com/groups/Adviceforfamiliesgoingthroughthefamilycourt/

On this link are many articles to help seperated fathers get their rights met when it comes to contact and residential rights as well as financial matters. Everything that you might want to “Ask the Experts.” There are many other links here that will more than answer all of your questions on this subject.

WHEN YOUR EX DENIES YOU ACCESS.

If your ex-partner says she’s not going to let you have any contact with your children, it can be one of the most distressing things that can happen to you. There may be a number of reasons behind her/his decision but somehow they’re irrelevant; you simply want to be able to spend time with your kids. So what can you do to change the situation?

WHY IT HAPPENS

There are several reasons why your ex might deny you access to your children.

  • It could be a bargaining chip for Divorce or legal proceedings yet to come

  • It might be revenge for the break-up of the relationship

  • In some instances, it’s even been used as a way to conceal a new relationship

  • They may harbour pain from the break up

  • Or there may have been arguments between you that became heated and should not be around the children.


    Even children that are born out of the most abusive relationships the children still love their parents and deserve to know who they are and where they got their genetic heritage.


Denial of contact, as it’s called legally, doesn’t necessarily happen immediately after your relationship ends. It can occur at any time until the child is of age.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Your first step should be to send a registered letter to your ex-partner in which you ask her to reinstate contact between you and your children. Don't forget to take a copy of the letter for your records and keep your proof of sending. However, remember court is always seen as a last resort and you will usually have to show that you have both attended a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before you can apply.

If this produces no action, and/or your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you have no alternative but to go to court and ask for an Interim Contact Order. In order to obtain a contact order, you will need to submit the correct form to the court, find out which form you need Here.

Why are women treated more fairly in the family court than men?

They really are not. Many many cases come through our group where women lose their children. Remember that the professionals and the court test your reactions. Dont chuck your toys out of the pram when you read things about yourself. Read it and ask how can I change this. Every woman who has been through these courts are advised, just as we also advise you men that where the other party has told CAFCASS or social services things that may not be true, this will be written in that report. Don't argue with professionals over this and don't slag the other party off. Instead take steps to show that when faced with criticisms you can seek solutions rather than shout and prove them right. There is a page that Lorna has put together with hundreds of courses for every case scenario. There is our website with advice and forms to help you navigate the family court without proving them to be right about you. And there is us right here. Every day I help parents of both sexes to try and get a good outcome for themselves. So do the other admins, moderators and members who have experienced this. The biggest issue with women in these courts is they overshare their story and the biggest issue with men is they spit the dummy and blame. Both sexes find themselves criticised in these courts in reports. That doesn't mean the court accepts these criticisms until the judge does and even then you get a chance to do work to change. You may be asked to see your child in supervised conditions to observe your relationship with the children. If all goes well then this increases and very quickly moves to community-based contact, then contact with a family member supervising at your home then onto unsupervised. If you dont attack everyone or let ego get the better of you, then you then start getting back to some normality. If they say zero contact and that is the final order it won't be without reason. That doesn't make it to the end. You can either start to make changes in your lifestyle and apply for contact later snd once again you will be asked to take this slowly beginning with supervised contact. Never be led down a path where you think this doesn't happen to women in similar circumstances. It does. Thousands of women have to have their contact with their children supervised. I have had to and our mums on this group have had to as well. You are not alone. You are not being treated this way because you are a man. You are treated this way because you are in the family court listening to things that the other party has said. Listening to things that professionals may agree with and also listening to things that the judge may have decided is true when you believe it to not be true. Many women have gone through the same. Many are advised to take it on the chin and accept this is what is decided and that it is better to accept that they believe this than fight them and instead ask how you can change this. Accept the work they want you to do. Accept the courses and accept any therapy they may ask you to go on. Most mums will do this over losing their children. The question is would you as a Dad do the same?

WHAT DOES THE INTERIM CONTACT ORDER DO?

The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. However, at this stage that’s not likely to be the case.

WHAT KIND OF CONTACT CAN YOU EXPECT IN THE INTERIM?

What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur. This can often be six months or longer, which can be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious.

THE DIRECTIONS HEARING

Prior to the hearing you should inform both the opposing solicitor and the court itself that your side will ask for interim contact and be asking for oral evidence. This will avoid any adjournment. If you’ve had previous contact with your child before you were denied access, especially “staying contact”, you should provide evidence of this to the court, as it will bolster your argument.

THE FINAL HEARING

One of the most important factors preceding the final hearing is the report by theCafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. He or she will interview you and your former partner, your children, if they’re old enough, as well as carers and teachers etc. Generally, the court will accept the report’s recommendations regarding custody and contact. If you disagree with the report, either in part or completely, you can ask for more information, or for another report by a different officer.

IF YOU’RE STILL DENIED ACCESS

If your former partner denies you contact in defiance of an order laid down by the court, you can take her to court to demand access. However, before taking this step, think carefully, as it will not only make relations between the two of you worse, but could possibly end up with her fined or in jail, which will have an adverse affect on the children. If at all possible, you shouldAttempt Mediationfirst.

Check out theSeparated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

our Parental Alienation page.


Lies in Separation...

Below are our articles on the subject of Lies in Separation. If you can't see what you are looking for our other categories are displayed on the left under 'Our Quick Links'...

Being Falsely Accused of Child AbuseIf you're falsely accused of child abuse or neglect, make sure you know your rights. Find out all about how to protect yourself and your child here....

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Being Falsely Accused of RapeIt can be devastating to be falsely accused of anything by your ex-partner, but rape or sexual assault is perhaps the most shocking and hurtful. Find out what you can…...

Relationship Breakdown: 'Lies' About BehaviourIf you're going through a difficult divorce or separation, you may find yourself on the receiving end of false allegations and lies about you and your behaviour in the….